Study 3: Shame & Jesus' Response

Still working off of the quote from last week: "To counter shame’s toxic effects requires regular attention, a repeated look into the face of Christ, and a repeated vulnerable openness in relation to others."

The premise for this week: Shame is alleviated by encounters with Jesus!

It is the power of acceptance which characterizes all of Jesus’ encounters with the shameful. Jesus is still present, still there, even when others point fingers or don't understand or stand and judge the shamed. Acceptance is especially important for shame, which is more about who you are than what you have done [see Study 1]. Jesus accepts the person, but not the sinful act they have done. It seems that God deals with us on a different plane than what we would expect or think we deserve. AND, importantly, Jesus is never ashamed himself to be present and associated with the vilest of sinners and shamed people.

If one of the important spiritual resources for those who want to escape from chronic, toxic shame is an encounter with Jesus, we ought to know what kind of response they will meet if they are to encounter Jesus Christ through prayer and reflection. Will it amplify the shame, ignore it, or heal it?

For much of the summer we'll be talking about more intense issues, and so I think it's important to just start with Jesus and see how he responds to shame and have that be what informs our approach to shame and its effects in our lives. And we need to look at His face repeatedly.


Five Stories:
Jesus and the Woman with a Hemorrhage
Jesus and the Woman Caught in Adultery
Jesus and the Sinful Woman
Peter's Denial and Restoration
The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother

(Again, some notes below taken from "With Unveiled Face," Paul Goodliff)

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Jesus and the Woman with a Hemorrhage (Luke 8:40-48)

40 Now when Jesus returned, the crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him. 41 And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus' feet, he implored him to come to his house, 42 for he had an only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she was dying.

As Jesus went, the people pressed around him. 43 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. 44 She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. 45 And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” 46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” 47 And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. 48 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

o Secretive & shameful, similar to menstruation; bleeding for *12 years*!
o Personal and social shame
o Woman considering unclean and had to stay away from people when haemorrhaging
o This woman had been shunned and shut out of religious and social life for 12 years!
o Contrast to Jairus who approaches Jesus to his face, the woman approaches him surreptitiously, from behind, hidden, hoping that a touch of Jesus’ clothes, the edge of his garment will bring healing
o Her hopes are indeed fulfilled, but she finds she cannot remain hidden
o The healing of shame requires some exposure!
o Despite the shame of her past condition and the means by which she gained her healing, she comes forward and tells her story
o The anger she feared is entirely absent from Jesus’ response
o Physical healing, but also a restoration of her life in society – no longer will she be an object of shame, but she can live open and free. Jesus is available to her, accessible to her and accepting of her.
o The acceptance of her timid and secretive approach by Jesus breaks the chains of chronic shame.


Jesus and the Woman Caught in Adultery (John 7:53-8:11)

53 They went each to his own house, 8:1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2 Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. 3 The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. 5 Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” 6 This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

o Woman caught in the act of adultery: probably naked or close to it, very exposed in every way
o The trap is set to shame Jesus, and of course the woman herself is being publicly shamed in a most humiliating way, both by the exposure of an act which is by its nature private, and in this case, also immoral, and possibly also by her attire, or lack of it, as she is dragged mercilessly from the scene where she has been discovered. There she stands, clothes disheveled, hair loose, full of shame and terror.
o Jesus averts his eyes and looks down at the ground where he is writing in the dust. He senses her shame, and also the shameless hypocrisy of her accusers.
o Guilt is not an irrelevancy to Jesus ("do not sin any more"), but it is subordinated to the more powerful and potentially more destructive problem of shame. Both Jesus and the woman have been victims of the manipulations of the scribes and the Pharisees, experts in guilt. Both Jesus and the woman are set free by the wisdom of exposing the shame of hypocrisy. It is finally the self-righteous who go away with heads bowed, and the accused who leave heads held high.
o Jesus, stooping down and writing his gospel message of freedom from shame is the dust of our lives, knows that we need first and foremost to know we are accepted, rather than condemned, if we are to deal with our guilt.


Jesus and the Sinful Woman (Luke 7:36-50)

36 One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and took his place at the table. 37 And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, 38 and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”

41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he canceled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he canceled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” 44 Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” 48 And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” 50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

o Charity, a hostile setting, a sinful woman and a parable about the canceling of debts and the depth of gratitude and love.
o A strong theme of shame is present in Luke’s story
o The woman weeps and her tears fall at Jesus’ feet: embarrassing and shameful. She then lets her hair down to wipe his feet. No woman let her hair down in public. Such a provocative sexual gesture by a woman who seems to have no shame, but who in fact is consumed by shame.
o Her shamelessness is a cover for her shame-filled life.
o Jesus refuses to shame her further; in criticizing his host, he invites others to regard him as someone who is himself shameful.
o He identifies with her, not the moral cultural norms. In so doing, his actions and words take away the depth of shame that is internal so that she cares less about the social shame, which continues.
o Rather than saving face, in a culture consumed with doing the right thing, where saving face is crucial, Jesus saves the woman.
o He is not ashamed of her, and by not being ashamed he demonstrates his love for her: not the abusive lust of other men, but the love under control, the saving love, the love which puts the other first, the love of God himself.
o Jesus forgives her sin. He demonstrates he is at ease with his sexuality and hers, because it is not out of control. Her physical intimacy, rather than being a contributing factor to her inner shame, seems to be a means of reducing it. What had been kept hidden, her tears and shame, is exposed, and healed by the accepting love of Jesus.


Peter's Denial and Restoration

Luke 22:54-62

54 Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance. 55 And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. 56 Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” 57 But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” 58 And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” 59 And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” 60 But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.

John 21:15-19

15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. 18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” 19 (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”

o Peter leaves the scene of the Passion a broken man, but it is Jesus’ gentle restoration of Peter on the beach at the Sea of Tiberias that once again demonstrates how Jesus deals with shame. The absence of any direct rebuke is striking.
o Earlier in the gospels we see a Peter who is responding to shame with a narcissistic self-sufficiency. The Peter we meet after his denial is more honest with himself about his shame, and so on the road to restoration.
o Jesus’ acceptance of him and his gentle but firm therapy of questioning and approval allows Peter to be restored.
o Shame is alleviated by encounters with Christ and that therefore, the church of Christ, if it is to follow in the way of Christ, should be a community which is honest about shame, recognizes it and finds ways of healing it. Sadly, much of the life of the church only serves to amplify shame or positively create it in the first place. Or else it ignores it, preferring to deal in the currency of guilt and forgives, which is dealt with in easier, less costly and more mechanical ways.


The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother (Luke 15:11-32)

11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

o In the face-to-face meeting with the unexpected and outrageous love of this father, the younger son finds forgiveness, restitution and a new life. More than he deserved, certainly, but no more than the grace of God offers.
o His shameful and willful actions at the start of the parable, driven by who knows what personal psychological crises in this atypical Palestinian family, are healed by the acceptance of the father. It is in such unlooked-for acceptance by God an his people that much shame is healed.
o The trouble is receiving it when shame so deeply shuts a person off from the contact which might just break open their defenses and give them hope. The other trouble is that Christian people are as afflicted with as much shame as the rest of humanity, sometimes more, and find it hard to be as generous-spirited as God.